Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 27th, 2004

Laughs Unlimited on May26th
Had an excellent set at Laughs yesterday. I hosted. Laurie and Kelly were there. Gina and Kara were there too. Earlier , I went to Wal Mart (ugh) and bought a tent and went to Indian Fashions and bought a few good things (Bindi’s, two Kurtas and a Turban) to bring to Flipside. I am so so fucking excited . I am going to my second home…..Did the jokes on seeing the Olsen twins movie and buying a ticket for the Passion of the Christ movie and sneaking into the olsen twins movie. Thats when you know you are over the hill. When you buy a ticket to a R rated movie and sneak into a PG – 13 movie.

Club Avalon in Santa Clara on May 25th
Did the Club Avalon (Santa Clara) competition . It was fun. I went on FIRST and sill won. That just places me in the semifinals. Lets see if the bullshit plays out or not. The host/MC/organizer was an interesting entity called Durell Harvey. All I remember about him is that he is black, bald and wore a funny funny shirt. I think Sam should have won too but I wasn’t judging.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 24th, 2004

Shrek2 – IMAX – PyramidKicked off the weekend with Shrek 2 on Friday. Nice movie but too much sugary stuff. Expected more of the bird exploding stuff but oh well. It is breaking records so not much I can say about it. Right after that I went to Pyramid Ale house and hung out there with Mark, Anna, Dan and Andre. It was nice as usual to see Mark and Anna. Talked about getting Ivan to put up a website for Mark’s Sushi and Teriyaki sauce. Sent him an email about the same. Went to see an IMAX movie ‘The Roar of the Lion’ or something like that about a pride of lions on the Serengeti. It was interesting , very interesting but could not help but think that it was WAY too short – just under 50 minutes . Kinda like a overgrown short film.

Garage Sales with Ray
I have been going to a LOT of garage sales with Ray on the weekends. Kinda like the idea of going out to Garage Sales and looking for treasures in someone else’s trash and then loading them up in the Porsche Boxster and driving off. Like to see the semi amazed look in their eyes when we do that. Got some good books for Kara actually . Baby Books. Also scored Scott Turrow’s bestseller “Reversible Errors” and the ultimate coup de tate – a bowling bowl in a bowling bag with bowling shoes and bowl wipe etc — all for a grand total of a dollar.

Burner Party
Went to the Burner Pary at Dragon’s house in Elk Grove on Saturday. It was fun meeting all these cats after such a long time. Finally was able to put names with faces. Good times .

Gig at Harrahs in Reno,NV

Went to Reno and did a competition with Rick Pulido at Harrahs in Reno,NV. It was GREAT doing it. I think either me or Rick should have won but we didn’t . Some hack from Reno won. He was doing someone else’s jokes and was not THAT funny in any case. Mark Yaffee was there and he also had an excellent set.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 20th, 2004

Finally the Birth :-

A LOT has happened in those two days.
On Tuesday evening I went to Tracy,CA to do a show. When that was done I was on my
way back and I got a call from Eddie (of Eddie and Kara – my latest friends who are
pregnant) that Kara was at the hospital and would give birth that night. I went straight
to the hospital and hung out over there. At around 5:30 a.m. in the morning she started
the process and after about 72 minutes of delirious pushing and screaming and hitting and
encouraging and wise cracks and more screaming and more screaming and even more pushing
and even more pushing Armando Ramos was born at 6:42 a.m. His birth remains the most amazing and the most disgusting thing I have ever witnessed. Although I cannot deny the fact that I felt very privileged being in that room with them. God Bless Armando. He looked like a cookie dough of flesh and bones when he came out . The kid has some good lungs on him I tell ya. I saw how overwhelmed Kara was and felt an intimacy in the room which now explains to me why they call it the ‘miracle’ of births. Because at that one momment everyone in the room , including the midwife who has probably attended scores of such births , were all solidified in our protectiveness of the child. I believe that is what makes us humans different from a LOT of other species . Or maybe not !

Competition in Tracy CA :-
I did the comedy competition at the Great Plate in Tracy, CA. Jim Somers won the competition and I stood in second. Nothing for the guy who ends up second. Why does the win in the competition elude me ? WHat do I lack ?


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 13th, 2004


Today I got a call from the Neillo Porsche service guys saying that the total for the car sensors,horn plate, etc will be close to 2300$. Add to that the 2600$ for the clutch and the 300$ for the tire. That brings a total to 5200$ for just the repair of the car. The registration was about 500$. That brings this close to 5700$. The monthly payments to Laurie and Kelly are 690$ for a total of 5 months now. That is about 3450$. This brings the total that I have spent on this Porsche to about 9150$. Also the insurance is about 165/month I paid for 6 months. That is about 990$. That brings the total to 10140$ that I have spent for this car in just under 5 months of owning it. I will keep it till the end of summer but if that dosen’t pan out I will give it back to Laurie and Kelly. Talking to Jim Weber of Neillo Porsche , I realized that there has been extensive repairs done to the car in the past. The airbag has been replaced in the past which means this car was definitely in a wreck at one point or another. I am wondering if Laurie and Kelly were lied to or are lying to me ? I just feel so so used.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 12th, 2004


I gave something to someone and then
then I took it back from them (Cause they
didn’t pay me for it). They were like
Oh You are an INDIAN giver. I am like what?
They are like if you give something to someone
and then you take it back then you are an Indian
giver. I am like that dosen’t make sense. Indian
giver should be when someone gives you something
and then you take away EVERYTHING that they ever
had and give them a holiday that involves watching
football which is like making the statement — stay on
your reservation people — or else we will tackle and
kill you like this……


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 12th, 2004

Jokes Notes and Works In Progresses:-

Dog Breeds and Porn Terriers
Broken – Fixed
Dog Antelope – Antlers again


Girl Slapped me with shoe.
Bra Slapping


God Chick
How am I going to match the Father in Law ?
My god does things all by himself
Your god sends his son down.
That is a better God cause he delegates.


Coming to America I realized that women here want it all.
A kid, a husband, a job and I am such a catch because I am
simultaneously all in one.
What I want from women is someone who can cook , clean,
swallow (pause) — her pride when we get into an argument.

I think people who believe in aliens are stupid. The only reason they believe in aliens is
because to them Earth’s problems seem too huge for us pitiful humans to solve. We can only
hope to be rescued by aliens from another planet whose civilization is “vastly superior to our own.”
How come there ain’t no stupid aliens ? Its only logical that even if there are other
beings then there will be stupid people amongst them too. ALl the UFO sightings are stupid aliens
that have stolen their dads ship and went cruising and visited earth because they thought that EARTH was a cosmic toilet bowl

1)an unending supply of biodiesel.
2)we were just bugs waiting to be flused into the intergalactic sewer system

and the crop circles are nothing but bathroom graffitti leftover by ZOOK who wanted everyone to know that to have a good

time call ‘Zelda’ from the planet Uranus.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 12th, 2004

The Vagina Monologues :-

Its official now. I am doing the Vagina Monologues. I will have four rehearsals for the show and then one show on a Sunday when I can go ahead and invite about 50 people for the same. I will be doing it with the regular cast of the good people at . Lets see how that goes. It should be an interesting experience. Lets hope the schedules match. :-
I am visiting them tomorrow to further explore opportunities over there. Lets hope all goes well. They are right downtown San Francisco so that could be cool. The people seem capable and a good team to work with . Doing RAC and RMAN stuff with them should be so so cool.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 11th, 2004

It is the 11th of May and the word ‘Globesity’ has entered my vocabulary. If there was one word that I did not want in my vocabulary it was Globesity. It is what it sounds like. Obesity is an international epidemic. WHAT THE FUCK ! Did we solve the hunger problem ? I have a novel way of solving both the problems ? Cannibalism ! Yup tear out the girth from the fatsos and give them to the hungry and needy of the world. Then when the skinny people start getting fatter and fatter start with the dogs , then the chickens. Believe me feeding humans to chicken’s may sound like a environazi’s answer to everything but at the end of the day it is MUCH MUCH BETTER than feeding CHICKENS to chickens. Why are we so fat ? My friend Cheese does a wonderful bit on this issue. He says that he found fat free Krisco (or some brand that I don’t recall). That is just fat free FAT. We have managed to create a substance which is less than 99% of ITSELF. Yet we are growing fat . Dosen’t make sense. The heads were supposed to grow in the evolutionary process or so thought Darwin. Darwin could not have predicted TNT and the SPICE channel. Darwin did not have HBO. Mendel studied pea pods for a living. If these poor fuckers had HBO then there would not be a thing at all in terms of evolutionary theory. Maybe that would be a good thing.

Car Update :-
I left the car at Neillo this morning. The check engine light was on. Or so I thought. When Jim Weber from the dealership got into the car the light did not come on. I left the car there and asked them to do the service also. WIll cost me 550$. This car is a HUGE expenditure item but I love the way I feel when I am driving it.


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 10th, 2004

Why does my life matter ?

I am disturbed by the apathy that I leash out and the way it is targeted towards souls that are of a lesser fortune than I am. Why am I afraid of initiating a conversation with the homeless guy asking me for time ? I KNOW for a fact that he is only looking for eye contact and an acknowledgment of his existence and yet I deny that basic look that makes us all human. Maybe thats why Jesus was so great. Cause he could look into anyone’s eyes and make them feel better. I guess being the Son of God helps.
I am consumed by apathy,
Overcome by rage,
Riddled with envy,
As I write page to page.

No sides to this equation,
None that they negate,
Just a stalemate situation,
Just a rotten state.

I go on to my heavy heart
I go and feel the pain
The lack of satisfaction
The lack of concrete gain.

The soldier of fortune is so close to his defeat
A panicky end he shall meet
Crying and whining under his bed
Crying and whining till he ego is fed.


Party Night Friday Night :-
Friday was a weird day. Had meetings with Andy and Byron regarding RAC which was a good one. Used NetMeeting to be productive. Then went to Wells Fargo and made a cash transaction and gave 300$ to Kara so that the rent would be paid off for the week for her and Eddie. The rent was 240$ and I asked her to keep the rest with her in case of an emergency. She also made a request for a book about child birthing, a rash ointment for the baby and ‘burp clothes ‘. I have no fucking idea what these things are but I will do my best to get that for them. Went to Kim (Burning Man’s) painting party and was nice meeting a few people there. Me and Rick went – right after seeing Van Helsing which incidentally was a nice movie to start off the summer with- and going to Laughs Unlimited where Jason Ressler was featuring along with John Fox headlining . After Kim’s party we went to Ben Rue’s party which was quite a dud nonetheless. Me, Ray and Cheese went for the sake of Mycheal who is on the same level of fuckeduppedness as we are. Me , Ray, Cheese, Jackie etc. But I guess she is still working up the nerve to chuck off the puritanical psychic chains that bind her. She made plans to go to Davis the next morn with us to go to the Whole Earth Festival which she missed . Something about Ben being there and then chucking the whole thing. Good luck to her and Ben.

Whole Earth Festival :-

Went there for two days. Saturday and Sunday . Ate a few good brownies given to me by Crystal Moon. It was such a cool event. Beautiful people doing beautiful things. Ray was with me but couldn’t seem to really get into it on the second day. Said shitty things like ‘ I would go and sit in the car and shoot heroin. Saw him just 10 minutes later just strutting around. Was nice being there with Toonsis on Sunday. Met a few cool folks. Met Racheal who is a burner and might camp with the Karma Chickens. She was at Kat’s party which I didn’t attend cause I was in Weaverville. Saw Jonah of Jonah and Jenna fame – the two that I saw at Victoria’s party there which was also good.

Whole Earth Festival


Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the May 6th, 2004

Poetry for BurningMan :-
I wrote this in the middle of the day in a grey grey cubicle.
That is my life
A series of almosts
Battling and defeating
The hordes of ghosts

The deafening battlecry
The unforgiving grind
The soul stealing pligh
I try to leave behind

I try real hard
I do what I can
At the end of summer
I go and burn a man

Spirits run high and I feel free
For that one week no burning decree
So all the year I sigh and wait
Then I take my soul and replenish its fate.

Naked crazies , floozies and more
Fires, jugglers, monkeys and more
Song, stir, chaos and more
Sights that I have never seen before

Sights that greet my soul to the core
Where I go and feel like I’m home
Where I leave with a heavy heart
Should I , why should I ever depart ?

Homeless Pregnancy Update :-

Kara is doing good. Her court date went good. She has been given six additional weeks of probation. They went ahead and got their bus passes and groceries today. Kara gets her food stamps on the 8th . They should be OK now – God willing. Why am I doing this for them ? Kara’s mom asked me this . I said I don’t know but I don’t question the reason why God sent them my way. There has to be a reason.

Work Update :-
My boss is going on a vacation for the next week and then he is going out of town to Downers Grove, IL for more work related stuff. He will be gone for two weeks. That means I have to really perk up and work hard when he is gone. He helps me a lot in my day to day work . He is a good manager who is excellent at removing hurdles from my way. I have a meeting tomorrow with Andy who is my manager’s manager. I am excited about that one.

Comedy Update :-
Did Laughs Unlimited yesterday. It was fun doing this club after a LONG time. Did about 6-8 minutes. Thank you Del Van Dyke for the same. I did the Indian Pepper Spray joke. Faced a heckler who I had fun with. Shut him up that was fun. Also did the Yoga bit. That went well however I missed the pace on the puff puff pass punchline for the ‘get your mind to a higher place ‘ line. I need to work more on the same. Terry bailed on me and never showed up. Made up some story about feeling depressed or something. Why do girls do that ?

New Bar :-
Me and Ray went to the bar across from the house today and that was GREAT. Met a few people who seemed nice. Plan to go there again soon.

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