On Being Naked

Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the July 21st, 2005


The chants still reverberate in my ears. I was 4 years old and it was my first foray into school. I was enrolled at Reubs Babyland Nursery school which was a pre school to which my parents enrolled me in. Prior to that my entire socialization hinged on my parents who doted me and my playmates who also doted me – after all I had the ‘magical power’ of being able to put little sticks in my long hair and making it stay. Needless to say I enjoyed the ‘hero’ status amongst my small audience. Even back then I had fun entertaining people. Now that I think about it that IS why I have grown my hair . As a backup plan if I start bombing on stage.

(The picture to the side IS me as a kid naked with my uncle – I was two).

Prior to going to school I had no concept of the fact that taking off your clothes might not be a good thing unless nature says so. I had no concept of ‘societal rules’ . The only laws I knew were the ones that nature enforces like if you sit on a nail your ass hurts , if you slap a monkey it WILL slap you back and dogs don’t like if you try to climb on their backs using their long wiggly ears . You know things like that.
My parents decided to put me to pre school mainly to give a rest to my mom who was tired of cleaning up after me. My first day of school was incidentless except for the fact that I kept on looking through the window and saw my father’s face there – parents were allowed to stand at the window to see how their precious ones were doing – kinda like a training school for puppies except two legs instead of four. It was on my second day that I did something that changed me for a long time. I really don’t remember why I did it but I took ALL OF MY CLOTHES OFF during class. I just felt like it I suppose. There were no ants in my pants, no need to go su-su (Indian or atleast Gujarati for pee pee) no discernible reason at all. Just did it like a future burner should and almost instantaneously I had all the people look at me in shock and disbelief. Other kids in the class were kinda stupefied. I guess they were all well taught as to why NOT to take their clothes off.
This is the first time I remember the feeling of something being wrong and not knowing what it was. I thought maybe they did not know how to take their clothes off. Idiots. That is when the laughter and the hands on the face thing began. A lot of the kids started putting their hands on their faces to depict the ‘felt’ shame. Then the boys started chanting.

( the second and the third p in puppy was emphasized)

Instantly I sprung into action. I ran off to the end of the classroom and stood in a King Jeremyesque pose facing the corner. My teacher came over to my side to help me dress up. She was mildly annoyed by the fact that a kid in her classroom did that but I am thankful that she clothed me. I still remember the end of her saree (‘pallu’) falling on me and comforting me.
The next day onwards it was the same chants again before class , during assembly , during recess and AFTER class. It stopped after I beat up another kid for saying that. I guess violence does have its place in the playground. I was punished for the fight by having to stand in the corner and putting the trashcan over my head. Not as in wearing the trashcan just putting it on my head as in carrying it – a standard punishment leftover from the British ‘raj’.

I never took my clothes off in public after that.
Not at the river in the village when EVERY kid swam naked. Tapan wore pants.
Not while being in the forest and having to ‘go’. Tapan exercised mind over bladder.
Not while being at the pool in the USA. Tapan wore pants AND a t shirt.

Read tomorrow for the derobing of Tapan at Flipside in Austin ,TX.

Yoga and Why Breathing is important !!

Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the July 18th, 2005

This weekend was an amazing one. Atleast for me. I am slowly realizing what it means to be truly devoted to one person and what it means to BE WITH someone. I enjoy all the wonderful time we spend doing stuff or doing absolutely nothing. Mandy is someone I feel absolutely comfortable doing NOTHING with. I can just sit down and read and her reading something completely different and feel this fantastic glow emanating from her which brings so much joy – much more than the stupid ‘Who let the blogs out?’ book I am reading now

Now on to the main event.We went to the temple again on Sunday . After a fleeting misdirection we reached the temple and the ceremony and chanting was just beginning. The chants of the Maha Mantra was something that I found very satisfying. We talked to a woman name Bhakti who had essentially quit everything in her life her grown up kids, business, house etc to take up the life of a ’sanyasin’ i.e. devote herself to Lord Krishna. Interesting perspective on the movement. She said something about the soul being the primary vehicle and it goes from body to body to body as we change clothes or cars. Interestingly going from body to body to body is something I describe as being single. We sat with another couple from Tucson Tad and Elena who were transplants from Michigan and Oregon .

Bhatki came and sat with us while we were having the wonderful vegan feast . She talked about how the Hindus believe that we have a limited number of breaths rather than a limited amount of time . This is why the slowing down of breaths is extremely important. That is why the crux of any Yoga practice should be the control of the breath ALONG with any other goals you might have such as flexibility, developing strength or just staring into the nice full ass of the woman bending in amazing poses in front of you. Don’t forget to breathe. They actually say that in the Yoga classes. I always found that interesting. Jeez sorry, if you wouldn’t have told me I would not have known at all huh !!! Remember to breathe. Now I know why they say that.

We also saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with our friends Tom and Summer and Chad and Amy Lehrman. It was a delight to see the movie and go to dinner afterwards with Chad and Amy. Tom seemed to go home cause he was not doing well. That seems to be an ongoing theme for him. Getting sick and going home. He left at the Dambe project as he was not doing well. He left right after the movie cause he was not doing well . Hey Tommy – hope you feel better . Change the herbs. Seems they ain’t working……

One interesting sideline conversation with Bhakti was that how the people who cook at the temple need to know the EXACT quantities of spices to mix because they are not allowed to taste or smell the foods. This is because they are cooking the food for Krishna first and without offering him the food they cannot consume the same. I remember my mom running to the altar at home at times while cooking to ‘ask for forgiveness’ if she tasted the food.

Aftermath of Death of a comic

Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the July 12th, 2005

A good comedian passed away yesterday. Freddy Soto was his name. I got into a weird headspace and this is what happened. Verbatim. This took place on the SFComedy Yahoo Group.

The mail announcing the news :-

Sad news- Freddy Soto passed away Sunday, July 10. He was a GREAT comedian and a great person as well. I barely knew him, but he was always nice to me and was incredibly funny. He will be missed. -Matt Walker

My First Email Regarding the issue :-

Life goes on – Regardless !! Tapan

The rebuttal from Manny Maldonado who is Freddy Soto’s very good friend !!

First of all I want to thank whoever designed this forum for comics. I like the way many of you help out each other. I dont know all the comedians from this group, but the ones I do know are good people. My friend Freddy Soto passed away on early Sunday morning. He leaves behind many friends and a loving family. He was a class act on and off stage! I’am offended as well as my friends, by what Tapan Trivedi said about Freddy Soto. If you dont know him dont say something stupid like his catch phrase! I dont mean to be rude, I just dont like nobody popping off ( trying to be cute) I would like Tapan to be a man and apologize on this forum! If he doesnt than so be it! Grace White keep up the great work! sincerely Manny Maldonado

My reply to the same :-

Manny, I just saw this. I do not know you but I can feel your pain. I met Freddy in Houston at the Laff Stop. If there was one thing I knew about him was that he loved life. He got me drunk of tequilas more than any human being has. Also I had just came back from India attending to my father’s illness which was death threatening (He has since passed away due to the same illness).Any way that ‘catch phrase’ of his was extremely healing due to the fact that my father has the same way of saying ‘wrong English’ phrases . He pronounced finance, mobile (like the city in Alabama) etc incorrectly. That is why I remember the ‘regardless’ jokes more than any other jokes he did. However I completely accept the responsibility of missing the fact that others might be offended by this and apologize profusely to you and anyone else that has been offended. Sincerely, Tapan Trivedi

Manny’s Mail to the same :-

Its all good apology accepted! I was probably acting more on my emotion, and thats my fault. Its water under the bridge, if you get a chance to work with me or vise-versa I’ll buy you a drink! take care Manny!

Rest in Peace Freddy Soto. Rest in Peace.
Tapan Trivedi
Going Beyond Apu !!

Drumming, Fasting, Dancing and ISKCON.

Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the July 10th, 2005

Friday Night :-

*Due to a joyous occasion in our life we decide to go to the Hindu temple.
*Got there just before the curtain closes.
*Gave Mandy a refresher in Hindu mythology and differences between Ram and Krishna and Shiva and why a monkey is my God.
*Got talking with a couple of devotees who offered up ‘prasadam’ and invited us to a couple of things happening there. We liked the place. Serene , quiet – it does not bring me closer to God per se but it helps me to be closer to HER.
*Went to Govinda restaurant which is THE best place to get Vegan and vegetarian food in Tucson.
* Went home and watched Harold and Maude on DVD. I think the young actor in Harold and Maude looks just like Frankie Muniz – only this one can actually act.


Owing to the orbit of Saturn in my stars I decided to fast on Saturdays. This is a liquid fast which means I am allowed to take liquids. We spent about 6 hours from 12 till 6 at the Epic Cafe on 4th avenue in Tucson. Excellent place but I was DYING of hunger. Went home and put on TV where Mandy decided to take the remote (Horror of the loss of power!!) and put the TV ON THE FOOD NETWORK !!!!! WOLFGANG PUCK AND some Japanese dingbat cooking up all kinds of delicacies. I have never been so tempted there. Despite the fact that I ate a couple of pieces of toast at the Cafe I considered myself to be still fasting. That put a HUGE dent in my will power. At night we went to my buddy Tom’s Dambe party at the Lucky Studios. Had some difficulty finding the place but once we found it it was fun. We stayed there till midnight where we ran into Ken, Sid etc Burners fromTucson. Went to Congress Club where another Burner was playing in a Flamenco band. Excellent music. Danced a lot. Looked for Tom before we left for Congress but I guess he had already left with Summer. Around midnight I took my first beer (alchoholic drinks are also not allowed in fasting). Ate popcorn at Congress to actually break my fast. After the shindig ended we went to a 24 hour Mexican restaurant where I went back to my carnivorous ways by eating Chicken Tacos. Mandy looked good enough to eat so I did later on.

Sunday :-

Had a lazy lazy morning where we just lounged around in bed. After a brief breakfast we left for Mt.Limmon. Totally Mandy thing – something that I would not have done on my own. On our return we went to Hooters – Mandy’s first time. It was interesting that our server did not give us the famous ‘Hooters’ Hello’. I guess some things DO change once you are a couple. I am at work as of this writing . I am a little bit worried about my friend Stephan as he has not returned any of my calls and was feeling generally low on life yesterday.

On Stupor – Meal Induced and otherwise !

Posted in Uncategorized by THE Original Indian Comedian on the July 1st, 2005

It starts with a heavy meal or a wonderful ecstatic and yet a draining fuck. It starts either around the upper part of a belly or just above the crotch. You can almost hear the assembly line whirring at a painstakingly slow pace to produce the stupor juice. It spreads slowly through the body , climbing on to the blood platelets to reach the far reaching corners of the body (not that my body has any corners – its pretty well rounded) and then evaporating and reaching those where blood can’t go. How else do you explain me smelling stupor ? It takes my agility, my motivation and my senses with it . Where it takes those things I don’t know . Maybe cause it took my senses with it. My head tilts back and forth. I turn off the phone with a herculean effort because I know that the ringing will hurt. Badly. Very badly.

I turn the sounds off on the computer. Then I turn off the computer. My eyes are getting heavier and heavier as if under the effect of a really bad hypnotist. I slouch in my chair in front of the dark monitor. I slouch down till I can only see my eyes and my hair in my reflection. Anyone seeing me from behind will have to look real closely to determine my existence. I lay there comfortably. Listening to the audible hum of monitors in other cubicles, the whirring of the track ball on the mouse and the random keystrokes – I droop some more.

It is a delicate balance that I try to maintain . Any more drooping and I will fall off and out of the stupor induced euphoria. Any less and I will still fall out of the stupor induced euphoria. Now my eyes are sliding shut. I see the back of my eyelids and the faint hint of light somewhere, somplace – far away. I take deeper and deeper breaths. Once again the trick is to NOT go too far and snore. Snoring technically puts you in the sleeping category and you can’t bill for sleeping time. That is why stupor is so cool .

YOu can be perfectly happy and still earn money at the same time. I start drifting in and out. My head tilting is more pronounced. It reminds me of the time when I have participated in the unruly practice of candy flipping.

A small burp escapes the gullet and the esophagus and the Gods of stupor have smiled on you again. It starts again. You go down , down , down. Then I realize in the back of my mind. Where reason and logic and brain function are housed as roomies. I have to go home. I have to go to Mandy. I will have sex. I will love her . Then I will be drained and stuporous again. Long live stupor.