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Counting Sheep !!

Posted in Uncategorized by funnyindian on the June 28th, 2006

Who the hell invented the method of counting sheep if you can’t go to sleep ? It dosen’t work. Not to mention the fact that it arouses a certain segment of the population to see so many sheep altogether doing an acrobatic activity like jumping over a fence. That segment of population – the ones that resides in the backwoods of the Appalachians and have less than perfect teeth – are the reason why the sheep are running away from the farm in the first place.
Iowa where the men are strong and the sheep know how to run like ninjas. The best sleep number in Iowa is two cause thats how many sheep you can do at the same time.

I don’t count sheep. I count monkeys. Monkeys are a lot funner to count and they clear the fence in just one jump. My monkeys are little rhesus ones. What kind of monkey you imagined going over the fence says a lot about you and what kind of music you listen to .

Lastly in this world we live in – with technology designed to facilitate almost every aspect of your life why depend upon such an arcane method. We have deep tissue relaxation chairs that turn into beds, some of the most comfortable mattresses ever invented by men, humidifiers, dehumidifiers, gentle ’sleep’ music, noise drowning headphones etc etc etc. If none of these work for you do what I do

Watch C-SPAN !!

Sincerely,
Tapan Trivedi

Brand New Baby !!

Posted in Uncategorized by funnyindian on the June 19th, 2006

So as of last night around 9 pm we are the brand new owners of a shiny new silver Prius. As a lot of you know we were on the list for about 3 weeks and they had said ‘The average wait for the exact options that you want is about 12 weeks.’ So imagine my surprise when I got the call last morning saying that it is here.
We scrambled through the day the best we could and around 6:00 p.m. went to the dealership where we were met with a shiny new CSR who looked like a cross between Drew Barrymore and a glazed donut .
After taking the customary test drive we sat down for negotiations. They took down our information and we had brought the paperwork for our old Mustang (affectionately called ‘Wantmoregasmobile’ by us !!’).

After about 35 harrowing minutes they came back with what they would pay us for the Stang – which was about 2000$ less than what I had expected but then I would rather spend my evenings with Mandy and peanut rather than with complete strangers kicking the tires and lowballing me – or worse balling me !!

We took the deal . Lesson number one – if you are on the list for a Prius then get your ducks in order. Get your financing done and ready, get your trade in car sold cause you would almost always get more money for sale than the trade in . The only notable exception is that if your car has something defective in which case a trade in is a better idea as you don’t have to go through the headaches of liability anymore.

The donation laws have changed ! Used to be you could deduct the KBB value of the car – NOW you could only get what the agency that you donate to gets for it which means that I have to depend upon the selling skills of people who work for a non profit !!! NOT A GOOD IDEA !!

Lastly – the financing. We waited for about 45 more minutes after the various options were presented to us to go into the hallowed chamber of non lubed anal sex where the manager, the sales rep, the mechanic, the finance guy and the guy who just happened to be there to change the water bottles all take turns fucking you in the ass !! We went in there and talked to the guy who offered us 6.9% APR which I believe is pretty decent. Eventually we left the lot exhausted yet enthused with our new car. We made it home safely and are in a NorCal hippy / yuppie comic duality induced happy green haze . The coolest thing about it – the car comes with a preinstalled baby seat restraint thingie which we didn’t know about !!!

 

Sincerely,

Tapan Trivedi